Beloved Misery
by ArchAnime
Summary: Inuyasha rapes Kagome in his demon form. Kagome can forgive him since he had no control, but when he finds out what he has done, can he forgive himself? Romance and Angst COMPLETE
1. Bitter Heart Ache

**Beloved Misery**

**I'M WARNING you now that this contains something that may be offensive to some readers. If upi are all against rape then don't flame me, just don't read it. I wrote this fan fiction soley for the purpose of angst and romance together in a fantastic fan fiction. Give it a shot.**

**Well this is another one of my Inuyasha and Kagome romance fan fictions. I know the summary might seem like a downer, but you have to go through a lot of it to see the joy to come. So please don't give up on me now my faithful reviewers and friends.**

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_**Summary: Inuyasha turns demon and in his rage comes lust. He lusts for the one girl who is purer than any other. Kagome. In a mindless desire Inuyasha unwillingly takes Kagome as his own possession.**_

_**Kagome can find it in her to forgive the hanyou since he had no control.**_

_**When Inuyasha realizes what he has done...**_

**_Well you'll just have to wait and see._**

_**Couples: Inuyasha And Kagome (Based)**_

_**Miroku And Sango**_

_**Warnings: Sexual Content; Extreme Violence; Offensive Language**_

_**Rating: M for Mature**_

_**Good to know: LEMON means sex.**_

_**LIME means just the basic kissing and hugging**_

_**Also: If you find rape offensive you might not want to read on.**_

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**Disclaimer: I DON'T own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the series. I do own this storyline.**

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**Chapter 1: Bitter Heart Ache**

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_Inuyasha and the others all walked down the path. They were in search of more sacred jewel shards. All of the members of the small group had grown tired and bored. All this walking made their legs hurt._

_Kagome sighed. She really just wanted some food and shelter, but Inuyasha persisted that they keep on going until at least sunset. Kagome knew he would go on longer if they were not with him. He would probably search day and night if he could, but since his companions were human he had no choice._

"_Inuyasha..." Kagome moaned out, trying to grab his attention. Inuyasha's ears tweaked and he looked over to his left - where Kagome stood._

"_What?" He snapped. Kagome gave him a pleading look._

"_We're all tired. Can't we just stop for the night. We'll leave bright and early in the morning. We've been walking all day and there's not a jewel shard to be sensed." Kagome finished. Inuyasha gave her an annoyed glance._

"_We're not stopping until sunset... remember?"_

"_Can't we just..."_

"_No.."_

"_But Inuyasha.."_

"_I said no."_

"_Inuyasha!" _

"_Will you shut up!" _

"_Come on!"_

"_No!"_

"_Sit boy!"_

_THUMP_

_Inuyasha growled with his face in the dirt. He hated when she did that. Kagome placed her fisted hands on her waste as she glowered down at the stubborn hanyou._

"_We're stopping, eating, and resting. You can go on ahead, but you'll be alone." Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara all shivered a little at Kagome's fury. She turned to them and all of them made small squeaks. She smiled at the. "Lets set up camp." Kagome placed her bag on the ground and pulled out some matches. "Miroku would you mind collecting some firewood?"_

"_Not at all Lady Kagome." Miroku replied as he walked off into the woods. It was at this time Inuyasha found that the spell of rosary was no longer there. He stood up and held up his fist. He gave the miko and audacious, yet rage-filled gander._

"_You.. you..." Inuyasha growled again. "What the hell did I do? Why...?" Kagome gave him a bored glance._

"_What do you mean 'why'! You wouldn't let us stop! We needed a break. We're only human. We're not hanyou or demon and you should keep that in mind sometimes!" Inuyasha went to retort, but instead made a 'Feh' sound and turned his back to her. Kagome stared at his back for a few seconds before shaking her head and pulling out some packages of ramen and a thing to boil water in._

_Kagome looked around for where the fire would be placed when Miroku brought the wood back. She noticed the perfect place in the middle of them all. She beamed as she walked over to it and placed the water boiler down. The priestess reincarnation pulled out some water bottles and poured the fresh water into the boiler. As soon as Miroku returned she would start the fire and make them all ramen._

_For now Kagome would set up her spot for bed. Kagome walked over to her backpack again and pulled out her sleeping bag. She could feel eyes on her as she rolled it out. She looked at Inuyasha and did not miss the quick turn of his head in the other direction. She gave him a suspicious eyeball._

_A few seconds later Miroku approached the site with the necessary firewood._

"_Got it!" His informed gleefully as he came into site. _

"_Great!" Kagome ran over to him and was about to grab the firewood, but stopped. "Hmm?" Kagome looked off to her left._

"_What is it?" Miroku asked quizzically. Kagome bit the inside of her lip._

"_Inuyasha, a jewel shard." Kagome told. Inuyasha looked at her, forgetting their little dispute from earlier._

"_Which way?" Kagome pointed and they all headed off, prepared for a battle. They all ran at a quick pace, but Inuyasha stayed slower so they could keep up with him._

_Kagome could feel the dark presence close and then she realized... it was changing places... rapidly! Kagome looked around as they all ran, her eyes wide. That's when he heart skipped a beat. The presence was there. Behind her. _

"_Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed, but could do no more as the presence used vines to rip her from where she was. Inuyasha and the others turned just in time to see where the demon had dragged Kagome._

"_Damn!" Inuyasha yelled. He unsheathed his sword and ran off in the direction of where Kagome was taken. _'That demon better not have touched her.'

_When they arrived on the seen with Kagome the stopped their running. The demon was holding Kagome around the waste and the poor miko was gasping for air._

"_Let her go!" Inuyasha yelled, charging forward ready to kill. The demon looked at the hanyou and grinned._

"_A hanyou dares to challenge me?" The demon took Kagome and tossed her hard and fast to the ground. The girl winced in pain and held onto her sides. Inuyasha had been to late to catch her and so instead he stood beside her, checking to make sure she was not fatally injured._

"_Are you okay? You're not hurt?" _

"_Inuyasha behind you!" Kagome yelled. Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and moved out of the way, luckily sensing the movie beforehand. Inuyasha landed gentle on the ground. "The jewel is in his neck." Kagome mumbled. Inuyasha nodded and placed her down on the ground. He turned and faced the demon, growling._

"_A half dog and a miko, how sickening." The demon spat. He stared eye to eye with Inuyasha. _

"_Wind scar!" Inuyasha yelled slamming his sword into the ground. The demon's eyes widened, but he was able to move to the side in time._

"_He dodged the Tetsusaiga's wind scar." Sango said. Miroku nodded._

"_That sword looks mighty powerful." The demon's smile widened as he ran forward at a breakneck speed. Inuyasha was to slow to keep up with this attack. The demon pushed Inuyasha over as he swiped the sword._

_When the demon grabbed the sword he hissed in pain to see it had a barrier around it. He threw the sword over into the distance._

"_I'll get it." Miroku told Sango and Shippo. They needed to get it back to Inuyasha before it was to late._

_The hanyou snarled. How dare this demon touch his sword? How dare he harm Kagome! He would not stand for this. He dug his claws into his hand and swung it towards the demon._

"_Blades of blood!" He yelled. The demon had not expected the attack and howled as the aching came rushing. The demon knelt down and Inuyasha came hurtling over. "Iron reaper soul stealer!" Inuyasha slashed the demon again and was angered to see he was still alive._

_The demon's green eyes, turned black as he stood up. The demons had a large bolder-like body with vines as limbs, now all of these parts got larger. Inuyasha backed off a little._

"_You hurt me. So now I hurt her." The demon bit out as he ran forward. _

"_Her?" Inuyasha questioned and then noticed the direction the demon was going in. The demon was headed towards the kneeling Kagome! "Kagome!" Inuyasha called out. He ran and ran with all his might as the demon raised a thorn-covered vine and prepared to bring it down. Kagome's body was hurting to much to get away in time! Inuyasha's eyes widened. He would never make it in time._

_The demon used a vine and wrapped it around Kagome's waste and now brought the other one down. Inuyasha's eyes flashed a blood red color. He could not allow this. Inuyasha transformed..._

_In his demon Inuyasha was easily able to slash the demon to pieces. Kagome fell into his arms weakly. Her vision was a bit blurry, but she could see enough to know this was Inuyasha's demon._

"_Inuyasha..." Kagome mumbled. Inuyasha's blood red eyes stared straight into her own, as if he was trying to search her soul. Kagome gulped._

"_Inuyasha!" Miroku called out. Personally him and Sango had no idea how to deal with Inuyasha's demon. They needed Kagome's help. "Kagome get him to take the sword!"_

"_Inuyasha... you need the Tetsusaiga." Kagome chocked out. The demon looked over at the sword in question. A man was holding it. He identified this man as a member of his pack, but when he looked at the sword he growled. He did not want that thing. All he wanted now was this girl in his arms. _

_Inuyasha gave Kagome a lustful stare. Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, not exactly knowing what he was thinking._

"_No." He said finally. Kagome looked at him in question. "No, sword... you... I need you." _

"_W.. what?" Kagome had no chance to say another word as Inuyasha jumped off like lightening. _

"_Kagome!" Sango called out. "Miroku we have to go and get them!"_

"_We'll never be able to keep up."_

"_We have to try." Sango mounted Kirara with Shippo and Miroku nodding, getting on the back. The flew off._

_**Meanwhile**_

_Inuyasha stopped at a cave entrance. He looked down at the frightened girl. Her fear was causing him to growl in approval. He would not allow her to fear any other, but fearing him was fine for now._

"_What are you doing Inuyasha?" Kagome asked shakily as he placed her down on a cloth. He knelt down in front of her. His glowing red eyes were easy to see in the dim of the cavern._

"_Mine.." Inuyasha leaned forward and licked some blood from Kagome's cheek. "Now you're all mine."_

"_What are you talking about?" Kagome tried crawling backwards, but found it difficult as Inuyasha jabbed a claw into her thigh. She hissed. "Owe!" Kagome could not go any farther when Inuyasha began to crawl on top of her. "Inuyasha! Please!" She watched Inuyasha's eyes flicked. Inuyasha's head was screaming. _'NO! Don't touch her! Stop! Don't taint her.' _His demon retorted. 'Shut up you fool. She's mine now.' _'Kagome's not to be touched! Get off of her!'_ Inuyasha could not do anything to control his demon and it was killing him._

"_Kagome run!" Inuyasha yelled as he fell back holding his head. "Damn you.." A darker voice said. "Kagome get out of here, hurry... I can't control him." "Get away and let me handle this!" The demon said. "No. Kagome you need to go, before... he tries..." "Shut up." "If he takes you as a mate you'll be forever mine... you have to go!" Inuyasha argued with himself. Kagome nodded. She understood now. The demon Inuyasha was taken a hold of her hanyou Inuyasha. Inuyasha had no control over what was happening here._

_Kagome got up weekly, but determined. She headed for the exit of the cave, but was stopped when two clawed hands dug into her arm. She whimpered as the demon Inuyasha took her and threw her back on the cloth where she had started off at._

"_Enough of that hanyou." The demon stalked forward like a predator after its prey. _

"_Inuyasha, stop this!"_

"_Shut up." Inuyasha crawled on top of her again. Her eyes begged him to not do this. He ignored it. Inuyasha pulled her arms over her head and placed a fierce kiss on Kagome's lips, bruising them slightly. She tried to move away, but could not. The demon slashed off her clothing. Leaving her bare and scared._

_The demon grinned at her fearful face and then scanned her luscious body. _

"_You're beautiful." He purred. He kissed down on her collar bone and nipped at it a little. "And now you're mine." Inuyasha's demon wasted no time and removed his own covering. Kagome looked at him, knowing this had come to far and she could no longer stop what he was going to do to her. She cried. The demon leaned forward and licked all the salty liquid off her face, but more just continued to fall. "No crying." He mumbled as he prepared his entrance into her._

"_Please.." Kagome cried. "Don't do this..." Her words had not meant a thing._

_**Later**_

_Kagome cried to herself. She hated this. She had been tainted. Her most pure point was now impure. She did not know if she hated herself more or Inuyasha's demon. She was lying down with only the haori as cover. She had been crying for an hour now. It had been an hour since Inuyasha had shattered her sacred barrier._

_The demon had left the cave after that. He had not come back in since. Kagome has slashes over her body from fighting with Inuyasha and trying to get away more._

"_How could you..?" She mumbled. Kagome was a very understanding person and though her body was no longer pure, her heart still was and she could find it in herself to forgive Inuyasha, but not his demon. She understood that Inuyasha had no control over what was doing. He told her to get away. If she had not been so weak maybe she could have, but she didn't. Inuyasha's hanyou did not disserve to suffer for it. Not at all. That would not be fair. She could only blame this on his demon blood._

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_**I know, I know. Rape! In my fan fictions. The real thing. What a shocker. PLEASE do not flame me until you have read the rest. I undertstand how this is a subject many of you find offensive and that includes me, but this was for the soul purpose of drama. Before commenting anything about how angry you are just take the time and read on. The ending will come soon and I'm sure you won't be angry anymore. **_


	2. Forgiven, Not Forgotten

**Beloved Misery**

**I am very proud of the last chapter. I know many of you have questions, but honestly you will have to be patient and just read on to see how all of this is going to go. I'm also so glad that so many of you are enjoying this fan fiction!**

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_**Warnings: Sexual Content; Extreme Violence; Offensive Language**_

_**Rating: M for Mature**_

_**Good to know: LEMON means sex.**_

_**LIME means just the basic kissing and hugging**_

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**Disclaimer: I DON'T own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the series. I do own this storyline.**

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**RECAP: **_"How could you..?" She mumbled. Kagome was a very understanding person and though her body was no longer pure, her heart still was and she could find it in herself to forgive Inuyasha, but not his demon. She understood that Inuyasha had no control over what was doing. He told her to get away. If she had not been so weak maybe she could have, but she didn't. Inuyasha's hanyou did not disserve to suffer for it. Not at all. That would not be fair. She could only blame this on his demon blood. _**END RECAP**

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**Chapter 2: Forgiven, Not Forgotten**

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_Kagome cried some more. She was lying down and turned towards the wall of the cavern. It had been a few days now and she had eaten little and slept as much as she could, trying to release all the horrors of that night from her and be placed into peace-filled dreams._

_Inuyasha's demon just sat there. He was not ashamed of what he had done. He knew the hanyou was. He knew his hanyou and human would never forget and never be able to deal with this regret. He did not care what either of them thought. He only cared that he had a mate now. Him and his other parts... this was his mate to protect. Her crying was quite irritating, but the voices in his head had been none stop for the past few days. They yelled and screamed at him for what he had done. _'How dare you touch her! I can't believe... you stole her purity.. you took her most precious possession from her in a selfish desire! She'll never look at us the same way. You ruined EVERYTHING!' _Inuyasha's hanyou screamed in his mind. His human could not speak up at all._

"_You stupid hanyou." The demon muttered. Kagome turned her head slightly, knowing he was talking about the Inuyasha she knew and loved. "Why aren't you happy? I did you a favor.." _

"No, you destroyed her life!"_ Inuyasha's hanyou yelled from the body. _

"_His hanyou..." Kagome mumbled. _'Inuyasha would have never done this to me. It's not him. I need the real him... I want him here with me. Please make this side of him tuck back in!' _Kagome realized she had some leverage here. If the hanyou was fighting she could aid him and help the real Inuyasha to come out. "Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled. She sat up weakly. The demon looked over at her with blood-thirsty eyes._

"_What do you want?"_

"_Not you! I want the hanyou. Let me see Inuyasha!"_

"_I am Inuyasha."_

"_The hanyou. Inuyasha you can do this. You have to fight!" Inuyasha felt a weird feeling in his gut. Kagome was still sticking up for him, even after his demon had done such a ruthless thing to her. She truly was one in a zillion. "Please come back to me. I miss you so much!" She cried out and crawled over to the growling demon. Inuyasha's demon held his head trying to hold in the now stronger thoughts. Kagome could see it was working. She just had to work a little harder. "Inuyasha! Come out! For me..."_

"_Ahh! You bitch!" Inuyasha's demon dug his nails into the floor. He was overwhelmed. His blood burned and his insides felt like they were being torn apart peace by peace._

"_I NEED YOU HERE!" Kagome jumped up and into the demon's arms. She did not know what she was doing, but her instincts told her this was what she needed to do. Her miko could purify Inuyasha to an extent. _

_There was a glow coming from Kagome's hands and Inuyasha howled out in pain and threw her off of him. She flung into the wall and fell with a thud. She was not giving up so easily. Kagome looked up at Inuyasha's demon and watched the demon groaning and it's eyes slowly became more of a honey color. Tears welled in her eyes. Her Inuyasha was coming back._

"_K... Kagome..." Inuyasha kneeled over. He felt so disgusting and dishonorable. He now controlled the body that had sullied Kagome's. "I..." He looked over at the trembling girl. He saw some excitement in her eyes, but they also seemed so hurt and helpless. Confused, pained. "I'm so sorry!" He yelled out. Kagome took in a ragged breath. She had thought this would be a little easier, but he was still in the form of the one who had raped her._

"_I know." Kagome looked straight towards him, determined not to turn away. She had to face this now. _'Must be strong. Must not let go of him. I can't just waltz away from all of our memories. It's not his fault. He should not have to pay for it.' _Kagome crawled forward. She smiled. She actually smiled. _

_Inuyasha gulped. He wanted to grab her and hold her for hours and hours - apologizing over and over and over again, but he still could not expect her forgiveness and he did not understand why she would smile at a time like this._

"_Inuyasha.. you're back. I'm so glad." Kagome's smile was weak. She came as close to him as she could and wrapped her arms around him, leaning against him. "Inuyasha... it's not your fault. Don't apologize anymore."_

"_But Kagome..." Inuyasha could feel himself ready to cry. He had hurt her so much and no matter how much she denied it, it echoed in her voice. "I could not control myself." He returned in wrapping his arms around her. "I'll do anything I can to make up for what has happened. You don't have to stay here if you don't want to. You don't have to be hurt anymore. I'll give you anything you want. Just don't hurt anymore. I'm so stupid. I can't even control my demon. What kind of 'thing' am I?"_

"_I want to stay with you." Kagome closed her eyes and snuggled close to him. No more words were necessary for him to understand. "All I ask... is that you protect me and stay with me."_

"_Of course I will." Inuyasha put his chin on her hair. Her breathing was becoming less tense and more even. She was falling asleep. Her heart was so big. Inuyasha did not know how she could even bare to be near him after all that had happened, but she was - after all - Kagome. Instead of asking him to leave her alone and never see her again she came to him, asking for him and his protection and that was all she had asked for. He would truly do anything to make up for what he has done. If she had asked him to kill himself he would have. That's how far he would go for her._

_Inuyasha felt he did not deserve Kagome. She was to wonderful and full-hearted. She disserved the world, not him. She excepted him as a hanyou. She had forgiven him when his demon had destroyed her sacred barricade. What had he done to be worthy of this beautiful and quite amazing miko, woman? _

_Inuyasha thought farther into the situation and recognized the fact that the others were probably searching for them. They were probably worried about Kagome. After all Inuyasha had taken her when he was in demon form. For all they knew Kagome could be dead and gone by now. Inuyasha realized he would have to bring Kagome back there soon and he would have to be sneaky about it too, since Kagome was not wearing any clothing other than his haori. They would become suspicious. _

_Inuyasha hugged Kagome a little closer and she moaned painfully. Inuyasha released her and looked at her. _

"_My back... hurts.." She mumbled into his haori. Inuyasha blinked in question and turned her to face away from him. She was still sleeping. He pulled down the haori from her back and his eyes widened in rage. She was slashed and bruised all over her back. It had plenty of dried blood and there were holes in her shoulders. He growled deeply. His demon had dug his nails into Kagome when taking on to much pleasure from her core. 'How dare he?' Inuyasha would kill his demon if it were not a part of him. His evil side._

"_Kagome.." Inuyasha pulled the haori over her shoulders and pulled her back against him gently. Her wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and she leaned her head against his shoulder. _

_After taking a few more moments to nuzzle, Inuyasha pulled away. He slowly and carefully placed Kagome down on the ground. He needed to retrieve some water in a pale. He had to clean Kagome's wounds before they could become infected. _

_**Later**_

_Kagome opened her eyes slowly. She could feel a gentle feeling on her back. So tender... She moaned in contentment. It was so soothing. The water was warm on the cloth rubbing across her back._

"_Inuyasha..."_

"_Hmm?" _

"_I understand that you're sorry..."_

"_Ka..."_

"_I do. Honestly. I don't want you to feel bad. It's not your fault and thinking it is won't change a thing."_

"_Kagome..." Inuyasha frowned. "How can you be so forgiving?"_

"_It won't be forgotten Inuyasha. No. Never, but it's not because of you. It was your demon. That is where my anger is directed at. Not you." After Kagome finished she noticed how bare she really was around the hanyou. The haori covered her bottom - leaving all the rest exposed, but since she was facing the ground her breast where hidden beneath her. "How does my back look?"_

"_A..." Inuyasha bit his lip and that sad, regretful look appeared on his face. How was he to explain to her that her back looked horrible. Inuyasha leaned down and traced a clawed finger around one of the wounds. "It's not looking good..."_

"_Ha... I see." Kagome said. She too frowned. This would be unexplainable to her family and the others. She then felt a cold tingle on her back. She turned her head in surprise. Inuyasha was licking her back. Her face contorted in confusion. "What are you doing?" She asked. Inuyasha spared her a look._

"_My saliva will help heal the wounds with out scars." He answered as simply as he could and continued licking her wounds. She felt a little uncomfortable, but only nodded and turned back in a more comfortable direction. "They'll be healed soon."_

"_That's good to know." Kagome closed her eyes. "We need to get Tetsusaiga."_

"_Yeah."_

"_Miroku has it.. I think."_

"_When do you want to go back?"_

"_As soon as you finish what you're doing."_

"_K." Inuyasha wiped his finger over a small hole in her shoulder. He watched as Kagome flinch. "Sorry."_

"_It's fine."_

"_We're done." Inuyasha pulled the haori up on her._

"_Thanks."_

"_No problem." Inuyasha placed the cloth in the pale. "You ready to go now?"_

"_Yeah." Kagome reluctantly sat up and pulled the haori fully around her._

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**_The question here is 'What will the others think when they see Kagome's bruises?' and 'Will they see her before she can get fully dressed?'_**

_**See I told you things would get better. Trust me. It will only continue getting better and better.**_


	3. A Companion's Comfort

**Beloved Misery**

**This is obviously meant to be my most dramatic romance for Inuyasha and Kagome. I do enjoy how thing fan fiction is going to turn out. I hope you will too.**

_**Warnings: Sexual Content; Extreme Violence; Offensive Language**_

_**Rating: M for Mature**_

_**Good to know: LEMON means sex.**_

_**LIME means just the basic kissing and hugging**_

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**Disclaimer: I DON'T own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the series. I do own this storyline.**

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**RECAP: **

"_We're done." Inuyasha pulled the haori up on her._

"_Thanks."_

"_No problem." Inuyasha placed the cloth in the pale. "You ready to go now?"_

"_Yeah." Kagome reluctantly sat up and pulled the haori fully around her._

**END RECAP**

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**Chapter 3: A Companion's Comfort**

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_It was nice and cool out today. Fall had just began not to long ago and the smell in the air was very soothing. It caused Kagome's attention to be directly solely on the serenity of the area, rather than on the aching events of the last few days. _

_It felt nice to also be able to see the light of day for the first time in a few days. Inuyasha was standing behind her, watching her back. She needed sometime and he completely understood that. He would allow her as much as she needed. He had all the patience in the world to spare her after all that she had given him._

_They had arrived at the field overlooking the well just moments before. Kagome had been on his back the whole time, but now she could actually take the time to feel the gentle grass beneath her feet and the air silently beating against her soar and swollen skin. _

_First they would be going to her time to get her clothing and try and avoid Kagome's family until she was better healed, but if they saw her, her excuse would be a demon had attacked her. It would go no farther then that. She wanted to embrace them all. Her mother, brother, and her grandfather, but that would look to strange for a mere demon attack._

"_Are you ready?" Inuyasha asked quietly. He knew she was hesitant, but he also knew she would want to get dressed as soon as possible. He also knew she would want some food, water, and a bath, but what he didn't know was if she wanted him to be with her the whole time she was there. _

"_I am. Can we go in through my window?" Inuyasha nodded and waited for her to walk forward towards the well. When she did he began to follow her trail, paying close attention to the slight stumble in her step. It wasn't much, but it was there. A small breeze blew up part of the bottom haori to reveal a slash on her thigh. It wasn't deep, but it was bruised. Inuyasha bit his lip and his fang made it slightly bleed. He felt like he deserved to bleed much more for all of Kagome's blood that he had spilled. _

_Kagome stopped in front of the well, hearing the hanyou's steps stop as well. She was happy when he was near in his half demon, she was just frightened his demon would come out again. Because there were no demons around he had no reason to get so angry as to transform again and she could trust that. _

_Looking into the well Kagome suddenly felt a little nauseous. It looked so far. She was not the type to fear heights, so she didn't know what had come over her. _

"_Inuyasha...?" Kagome turned and looked at him and he returned her look, with a look that told her to speak her mind and say what she needed. "Could you carry me?" Inuyasha did not question this request and walked over to her and picked her up carefully. Her hand clasped his white haori and he jumped in. _

_In the blue light Kagome felt so warm, especially in the arms of the one she loved. It was a nice feeling. She waited a second more for the blue light to fade and for Inuyasha to jump out of the well. _

_He placed her on her feet and she nodded her thanks. The young miko took a deep breath and stared at the well house door. She was so close to her home and she felt so... odd. It had been a while since she had been away from the feudal era and she was finally back, but not for her normal reasons and that was what made it feel so different. _

"_Can you smell anyone outside that's close?" Kagome questioned. Inuyasha took a quick sniff of the air. _

"_No. They must all be inside."_

"_That's good. Could be go up to my window now."_

"_Yeah." They walked out of the well house and Inuyasha picked up Kagome again and brought her up to her window sill. Placing her to his side he opened it and let her climb in first. He followed and shut the window. _

_Kagome rushed over to her drawers and pulled out her clothing. _

"_Could you stay here, until I get out of the shower?"_

"_I'll be here." Inuyasha agreed, sitting on her bed and crossing his arms. Kagome grabbed the rest of her things and rushed from the room, being sure no one saw her before she could get into the bathroom and lock the door._

_Kagome sighed and dropped her clothes and towel on the counter. He turned on the light. It felt a little bright and she prepared herself to what would be seen in the mirror. She quietly untied the knot on the haori and waited for it to fall from her shoulder. It fell to the floor and she examined herself in the mirror. _

_Her front was only bruised a little. Her face had a single scratch and her front thigh had a clawed wound. Her back was a little worse and she had a big bruise and slash on the back of her thigh. She frowned, but was glad that it was not as bad as it could have been. Her core was soar and her upper thighs had a slight amount of dried blood that had trickled down from her innings being so violently torn. _

_It was a horrible thing to happen to anyone, especially girls, who had to lose all that was pure to them. Most men didn't understand this fact. To men it was just pleasure, but for women it was something more. It was everything. It was not just taking something without asking, it was taking all that a girl had without asking. It was tainting someone so they could feel disgusting and horrified without consent. _

_Kagome turned the knob of the shower, making sure the water was nice and warm. She stepped her in and soaked her bare and battered body. It felt so good. To her this was unimaginable pleasure. She knew she could never fully wash away taint, but she could try and forget it, which would be impossible for just about anyone else, but Kagome was a different case. Plus she had a stubborn, loving half demon to help her along the way. How many other people had that in this case? Try none._

_Taking the shampoo Kagome massaged it into her scalp. She moaned in pleasure, forgetting all of the worries of her past. Once the shampoo was completely rinsed she applied the conditioner and let it release the knots of her hair._

_**Meanwhile**_

_Inuyasha crossed his legs, with his arms and leaned into the wall, while sitting on Kagome's bed. How could he have done such a thing? How could he have been so week! He would never become a demon again. He would not allow it. His goal was no longer to be a demon, but to help heal Kagome. He would try his hardest. _

_He smelt of Kagome's blood and suffering. He wanted to wash himself, but that could wait. He needed to be there for Kagome. This room smelt so much like her joy that it made him feel content with himself a little. He hoped that after some time she could regain the smell of peace and innocence. He knew that was basically impossible. _

_There was a knock on the door and Inuyasha's ears twitched as it opened slowly. Mrs. Higurashi was the one standing there._

"_Inuyasha, it's you." Taking a closer look, she noticed his condition seemed a bit unstable. "Are you alright?"_

"_I'm fine."_

"_Where's Kagome?"_

"_She's in the shower."_

"_But she didn't even sat hi yet."_

"_She wanted to shower bad."_

"_Do you want one too?"_

"_I'm waiting for Kagome."_

"_Do you have plans?"_

"_No."_

"_Then come on. We have a shower downstairs. I'll show you how to use it."_

_**Later**_

_Kagome sighed walking into her room. It felt nice to be clean and where actual clothes for the first time in days. When she entered she was not expecting Inuyasha to be gone. _

"_Kagome, dear." Kagome's eyes widened at the sound of her mother and she turned quickly._

"_Mom..."_

"_I let Inuyasha take a shower downstairs. He seemed a little untidy. His clothes are washing. Was there a recent battle?"_

"_Oh... umm..." Kagome looked down. She could not face her mother when she lied to her. "Yeah. A demon attacked."_

"_It must have been strong. You seem tired."_

"_Yeah... it was."_

"_Why don't you rest then? I'm sure Inuyasha will let you sleep."_

"_Sleep sounds good, mom." She kept herself from saying to much and waited for her mother to leave. After her mother shut the door she plopped down on the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. She leaned her head on her legs and let a couple tears fall. She was _so_ tired and warn down that crying felt so nice on her heart._

_The young priestess picked up the covers and slid her feet under them. She sniffed the clean air and closed her eyes, wiping the salty tears from her cheeks and eyes. Her bed also felt like heaven. It was not some thin cloth on a hard cave floor. She needed to sleep a little. When she woke up they would go back to the warring states era and get Inuyasha's Tetsusaiga. She would come back to the modern time and rest a little more and Inuyasha would either come or stay in the other time. She didn't care which one he chose, but she honestly wanted a companions comfort and who better than Inuyasha? To her, no one. _

_It was true he was in the body that raped her, but it was only part of his soul. A part he kept locked away and as long as that part was locked away she loved being by his side. At first she had not minded any of him. To her all of him was beautiful, but after that night she could not find it in her heart to _not_ fear his demon. She was just so fragile. It was basically impossible._

"_Kagome..." Inuyasha's voice was so calm and gentle. He slowly opened the door and looked at her frail form. She looked over to him and noticed how tranquil that it made her heart swell. He also held the extreme look of guilt. She felt sorry for him. She was - of course - the one raped and she had to deal with the pain, but he had to deal with the guilt of hurting someone who he only wished to protect. _

_Inuyasha was wearing some of her fathers old clothes. Just some boxer pants and a t-shirt. She assumed his clothes were not finished being washed yet. _

"_Do you want me to go back?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome lifted up her blanket. _

"_Could you... maybe stay with me for now?"_

"_Of course."_

"_Would it be to much to ask for you to lie down with me? It just feels kind of empty." Inuyasha blushed at the request, but he could not refuse her so he nodded and walked slowly over to the bed. Kagome scooted to the side and Inuyasha lied down beside her and turned his back to her._

_Kagome didn't exactly know why she wanted him there. He was just so comforting to her and she cared so much about him. He was the only one who healed her wounds._

"_I'm happy..." Kagome mumbled half asleep. Inuyasha tensed up a bit. He didn't know if he had ever felt so nice. She had said she was happy! After all that she had been through, she was able to say she was happy. _

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**_That's the ending to another long and detailed chapter. I personally liked it. It made me feel comfortable myself._**


	4. Harsh Memories Replaced

**Beloved Misery**

**I'm glad that some of you are not disappointed about the whole rape thing. It's sort of an inspiration to keep going. I love writing drama and I guess you can call me a drama queen in a way. I'm not in person, but in my stories I write down all of the dramas of the world. That way I can get them out of my system.**

_**Warnings: Sexual Content; Extreme Violence; Offensive Language**_

_**Rating: M for Mature**_

_**Good to know: LEMON means sex.**_

_**LIME means just the basic kissing and hugging**_

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**Disclaimer: I DON'T own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the series. I do own this storyline.**

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**RECAP: **_Kagome didn't exactly know why she wanted him there. He was just so comforting to her and she cared so much about him. He was the only one who healed her wounds._

"_I'm happy..." Kagome mumbled half asleep. Inuyasha tensed up a bit. He didn't know if he had ever felt so nice. She had said she was happy! After all that she had been through, she was able to say she was happy. _**END RECAP**

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**Chapter 4: Harsh Memories Replaced With A Tender Moment**

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_**HALF OF A MONTH LATER**_

_Kagome had hidden her secret and only her and Inuyasha were aware of the truth. She kept on a cheery face for everyone, but from time to time felt saddened by the bitter truth. The only person she could open up to was Inuyasha and that wasn't just because he was the only one who knew the truth._

_Inuyasha wore Tetsusaiga closer than ever now. He was always only inches away from Kagome's side. He was very protective of her. He had also given her time to explain that she was considered his mate by other demons, because he had taken her innocence, so if any demons mentioned something like that she should just ignore it. _

_At the moment Inuyasha was sitting on the a rock, facing away from a hot spring that Kagome was bathing in. Things seemed to be a lot different between them now. Inuyasha didn't _allow_ Kagome to bathe with anyone else and that included Shippo and Sango. Kagome didn't really mind, since she didn't want them to face her scarred body. _

_Kagome didn't fail to notice Inuyasha didn't allow any others to touch her, unless it was Kaede or Sango trying to clean her wounds. She understood that his demon made him naturally protective of her, because she was after all considered _his_. She knew he didn't mean to act like she belonged to him, but some times it just came out. _

"_Kagome..." Inuyasha's voice held the same quilt and tenderness it had half a month ago. It was one of the many things that made her feel warm around him. "The others are waiting for us." It was pretty late and they probably just wanted to go to bed, but she had been bathing for like an hour. She figured they had stopped paying attention to what she was doing and went to bed on their own, so she wasn't really to worried._

"_One more minute." She mumbled. It was so comfortable in the warmth of the springs. It was a pretty cold fall night, so being in the heat was soothing her muscles. _

"_Alright." The truth was Inuyasha was worried. He had accidentally left his Tetsusaiga back with the others when he had rushed to come with her. He had only just realized it now, but could not just leave her to go get it. Her scent was arousing him like crazy, considering she was in heat and all. He just didn't know if he could contain himself and the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her the way he had the other night. He would just have to be patient. _

_At the sound of another one of Kagome's soft moans of pleasure he clenched his teeth and the burning in his veins. She was the only one who could do this to him and it worried him._

"_K... Kagome... we need to leave."_

"_A little longer."_

"_Now."_

"_But, Inuyasha..." That was it. All he could handle. Her calling his name just seemed to throw him over the edge and he growled as his eyes flashed. He would not let this happen. He couldn't. If he did that to her again he could never hope for her forgiveness. He was luckier than the gods to gain in the last time. _

_Inuyasha's claws grew out and his eyes became a blood thirsty red. His hanyou yelled out, trying to fight, but his hanyou was no match for his demon._

"_Now... you're mine again." The demon turned and jumped over the rock into the spring. Kagome's eyes widened as she turned towards the demon Inuyasha. At first she was confused, but then noticed that same lustful look in his eyes that he had had back then. She clasped her heart as the memories flashed through her head and she started to whimper. _

"_No, not again..." She stepped back in the water, instinctively covering her upper part and allowing the water to shield her lower. _

"_Good you're already undressed. Saves me the hassle." Kagome's fear became greater as the demon marched closer, but she continued to walk back. Till suddenly this anticipation was to much and she turned and went to run, but like last time her arms were yanked back and she was slammed into the demons form. She sobbed out, begging him to let her leave, but he wouldn't. "Mine. Mine to have whenever I please." He whispered into her ear. Her stomach swirled and she tried ripping away, but it seemed pointless. _

"_Stop! You're hurting me!" She cried. Inuyasha turned her quickly to face him and leaned down, nibbling on her neck. He bit into it, marking what he had marked once before. _

"_Don't act as though you don't want it, because you know you do. I can smell your arousal." _

"_No! I don't want to be forced to feel that. It's not pleasure, it's pain. So stop! Stop it now!" She cried out, slamming her palms into his chest and trying to pull away. Suddenly the grasps on her arms turned to light holding. She slowly and reluctantly looked up to see Inuyasha. His eyes were amber! He had changed back._

"_Kagome, I'm sorry!" He quickly let go over her and stepped back. Kagome's whole body was trembling. That event had caused some harsh discord of memories to come out. She wanted to turn and run, but without Inuyasha she really had no where to run to._

"_It's alright..." Kagome found herself saying. It was and then it wasn't. He had actually done nothing to bad, only caused her to fear, but she could handle that. She could handle it as long as it went no farther. "Didn't you say it was time to go back?"_

_**Back With The Others**_

_Walking in the hut ahead of Inuyasha, Kagome was the first one the others noticed. _

"_That was quite a long bath." Miroku commented with a perverted grin. As soon as it was said he regretted it from the sorrow that engulfed Kagome's eyes. Sango bashed him over the hand with a fist for his insensitive comment. _

"_Kagome, your arms!" Shippo said quickly jumping over to her. Everyone turned their attention to her bloody arms. Kagome hastily covered them up with her pajama sleeves and smiled, reassuringly. _

"_Oh, that? I just fell and cut them on some branches." As an expert demon slayer Sango was aware that branches had not caused those marks, claws had, but who's? Inuyasha would surely protect a demon from getting to her. Even if it was a demon, why was Kagome going the extra length to hide it? Sango then noticed something else. Inuyasha's claws. There was a small trace of blood. Her eyes widened. Was Inuyasha the one who caused those marks? Why would he have done something like that to her and why would she still seem so calm around him. Sango realized she would have to look a little farther into the situation to find out the truth._

"_Are you ready to go to bed, Kagome?" Shippo asked. looking up at her as he wagged his fluffy tail around in anticipation. Kagome gave him the biggest smile she could muster and nodded her head. _

"_Yeah, I'm tired." She walked over to her sleeping bag with Shippo behind her and they both lied down. Inuyasha watched the scene and sighed to himself. He felt a little envious of the kitsune at the moment. He wanted to be able to sleep beside Kagome, as he had that first day he became a hanyou again after hurting her. She had wanted his comfort then, but now he knew she would not. How could she? He had probably lost a lot of her trust. He should have never forgotten the Tetsusaiga. It was so irresponsible of him. _

"_Kagome..." Inuyasha began slowly. The others were all beginning to lie down now as well. Kagome turned over and looked at the hanyou, waiting for him to continue. "Could you come outside for a second?" He made sure she noticed him grab the Tetsusaiga from the wall, so she was sure she was safe around him. _

"_I think she's tired, Inuyasha." Sango said for her friend, but Kagome sat up anyone. _

"_It's alright, Sango. I'll only be a little while." Since Sango and the others knew nothing about the events of half a month ago Kagome had to wonder a little why Sango would try and help her stall. _

_Getting up Kagome followed Inuyasha outside. As soon as they were out the door Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's waste and jumped into the air and unto Kaede's roof top. Kagome gasped at the sudden movement. _

"_Inuyasha!" She warned. "Don't surprise me like that."_

"_Sorry..." As soon as Inuyasha apologized Kagome felt a little guilty for yelling at him. He seemed to be apologizing about a lot of things lately. _

"_Why did you bring me up here?"_

"_I needed to say something." Inuyasha took his hand and placed it on Tetsusaiga. Kagome looked at the sword and then at Inuyasha's face in curiosity. _

"_What is it?"_

"_Here." Inuyasha picked up the sword and sheath and held it out. Kagome stared at it._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Just take it." _

"_But..."_

"_Please..." Kagome didn't recall ever hearing Inuyasha say 'please', so she could not resist the request. She gulped and took the sword in her own hands. _

"_Alright." She held it and stared at Inuyasha, wondering what this was all about and hoping for some sort of explanation. _

"_What I did... I can... I can't think of anyway to make up for it, but... I'm so sorry Kagome..." Inuyasha leaned his head down and his bangs shaded his eyes. "I...I..." Kagome never knew that Inuyasha could tremble in such a way. She had never known him to be afraid of anything, but he was afraid now, more than ever. "I never wanted to hurt you and lose your trust, but I did and I can't make up for that. I understand, but... I can try to control myself without my sword, like I am now. For you." He stopped to take in a breath. Kagome wondered if he was going to cry. She imagined - for someone like Inuyasha - that sort of guilt was unbearable. "I love you, Kagome. I want you to know... even if you hate me now." _

_There was a long moment of silence now and Kagome felt something in her take a hold and just make her feel in such a way that she had never felt before. The last thing she would have ever expected Inuyasha to do was to tell her something like that. He must really be sorry, but she had known that all along. She knew, but had Inuyasha known?_

"_Oh, Inuyasha... I could never hate you." Kagome smiled at him. A smile that had felt to be long forgotten. She wiped a happy tear from her eye and moved forward, wrapping her arms around the shaky hanyou. He felt like a lost and lonely child that could never be at peace with themselves for the manslaughter they committed._

"_Please stop hurting." Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Kagome and held her close to him. The thing Inuyasha didn't seem to understand was that what he was doing now was actually making the hurt all seem to disappear. In his arms she felt such calmness that nothing compared, not even the mass sorrow in her soul..._

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_**Important to know:**_

**_I would like to let you all know about Inuyasha's personality this chapter. I know that at the end it seemed a little off, but I mean think about it...If you were in his position how would you feel, or if those girls out there - like me - did something that horrible, like killing someone you cared about on accident... How would you feel? Basically anyone's tough exterior would crack under that sort of guilt and that includes Inuyasha's of course, considering he seems to get overabundances of guilt a lot. _**


	5. Beloved Save Me From My Misery

_**Beloved Misery**_

**_To the person who commented on how I made likeInuyasha's demon was someone else: Ok lets get this straight. Inuyasha's demon IS NOT Inuyasha and that is something any Inuyasha fan would know. It's true it's a part of him, but he is also half human. When his demon takes control he has no idea what he is doing and he does things he would never normally do and for those of you who have seen the episodes he becomes a demon you should know that. So by making Inuyasha's demon sound like another person I am not doing anything wrong. I still mention it's a part of Inuyasha and all..._**

**_As I said last chapter I can understand that it was a bit annoying that Inuyasha seemed so much off character. Trust me, I understand. One of my talents it reading people and learning their personalities from movements, which is why I tend to portray a characters personality nicely most of the time. Sometime it can be not right, but that's mainly because I listen to music while I write... actually I have to. It's a serious habit, but anyway the music I listen to tends to either lower or upper my mood and effect my writing abilities sometimes. _**

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_**Warnings: Sexual Content; Extreme Violence; Offensive Language**_

_**Rating: M for Mature**_

_**Good to know: LEMON means sex.**_

_**LIME means just the basic kissing and hugging**_

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_**Disclaimer: I DON'T own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the series. I do own this storyline.**_

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_**RECAP: **He felt like a lost and lonely child that could never be at peace with themselves for the manslaughter they committed._

"_Please stop hurting." Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Kagome and held her close to him. The thing Inuyasha didn't seem to understand was that what he was doing now was actually making the hurt all seem to disappear. In his arms she felt such calmness that nothing compared, not even the mass sorrow in her soul... **END RECAP**_

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_**Chapter 5: Beloved Save Me From My Misery**_

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_Running, the girl found she no longer had this energy or this strength. Her world was spinning and everything seemed to be going wrong. Nothing right had happened to her lately. Everyone mocked her, hated her. She didn't understand..._

_At first things had been going well and she thought she could deal with her life and live on forgetting what she had not wanted to remember, but fate seemed to be against her once more and she could no longer take this pressure. _

_She grasped her plump belly in pain and slid down the tree. The rain was pouring down and crying out the tears she could no longer hold in. Was she truly this much of a coward? To run away from the only hope she had? _'Why!'_ Her mind screamed, her heart, her body, her soul. She was in a sea of perpetual confusion._

_She didn't understand why they had to hate her for this. Why did the people on the streets make fun of her? She had thought she had done nothing wrong, but apparently no one had the same thoughts on the matter._

_Kagome leaned her head down and stared at the muddy ground, reminiscing about what had happened since that night. After Inuyasha had told her his feelings and apologized over again she had thought things would be fine. She had desired that they could both just forget about it and move on with their lives, but no... the gods had to make things difficult for her. They had to permanently ruin things... with proof, with a baby..._

_She had been raped three months earlier and only two months earlier had found out she was pregnant. As soon as she found out she had immediately shut herself away from everyone and in worry of the risk of Inuyasha smelling the truth she had given him a false peace of attitude and come back to her time, telling him to stay away from her. _

_She realized that it was probably something he would never forget and always ache for, but what else could she do? What would he had done if he knew the truth of the matter? She knew that he would no ridicule her. She knew he would understand, but he would be ten times as guilty and probably not be able to bear being around her anyway. _

_She was disgusting to the people around her. People knew she was young and her belly - although still pretty small - did prove she was with child and in the modern times that was not right. Her family didn't know what to do. She had refused to tell them the truth. She refused to explain that she was raped, so she had told them a lie and said that her and Inuyasha had gotten drunk. Her mother seemed to understand, but at the same time was still a bit more distant than before all of this. She figured it was probably because she had disgraced her and tainted herself. She was no longer pure enough to be near them._

_Kagome dearly wanted to return back to the feudal ages. She missed her friends and everyday she missed Inuyasha. She could not stand being away from him for so long, but at this rate she didn't know if she would ever see him again. That thought made her shake with fear. She wanted to hold him again, she wanted him to comfort her like he had and she wanted to opportunity to make him smile again and make him feel happy... that would make her feel happy as well._

"_Owah!" Kagome moaned in pain and wrapped her arms tighter around her gut. This baby was hurting her. She knew why. It was hurting her because it was a half demon and she was only a human... a weak and fragile girl. The child was cutting her up with its grown fangs and claws. _

_She would not know how to deal with a half demon child. She could never harbor one in the modern ages and she didn't know how to take care of them either way. What would people think when they would see a baby with claws and fangs and amber eyes?_

"_Kagome!" Kagome looked up at the sound of her mothers concerned voice. "Kagome!" Her mother called again. Kagome saw the woman walking around with in umbrella looking from left to right._

"_Mom, I'm here!" Kagome got up waited for her mother to notice her and as soon as she was noticed the woman came over quickly._

"_Oh, dear. I was so worried. I've been looking everywhere for you. She left without saying a word. Your dinner is ready."_

"_Thanks, but I'm not really hungry."_

"_I understand your going through a tough time, but you do need to eat. For your baby and for yourself." Her motherly tone didn't really seem like one you would want to argue with so Kagome slowly nodded her head. "Alright, lets go back and get you some dry clothes before you catch hypothermia." Mrs. Higurashi let Kagome share the umbrella with her._

_Looking at her mother from the side of her gaze Kagome knew that she was only a foot away in reality, but in a mental state she seemed so far away from her. Kagome couldn't remember the last time she gave this woman a hug. Months ago!_

_**Later**_

_After a nice warm bath Kagome lied her head down on the pillow and covered up her form with the blanket. It was pretty cold. It was almost half way through winter now. The wind was beating against the window and causing it to howl out, like a crying soul. That sound had never been one to comfort anyone, more like one to make people shiver twice as much as they were from the cold._

_Kagome didn't wish to hear such agonizing sounds so she pulled the blanket over her head and closed her eyes. She began reciting a poem that she used to here her mother say on some nights. _

"_Beloved come and save me from my misery. _

_Save me from this horror, _

_This night of cold and creepy feelings._

_I don't want to be alone. _

_I don't want to cry on my own._

_I'm shedding what's left of my hope,_

_What's left of my bliss..._

_If only I could see you just once more_

_Just one more kiss_

_My limbs are tired and sore._

_But to be near you and by your side_

_To be holding hands with you_

_Where you and I both collide_

_That would be my blissful sea_

_Beloved come and save me from my misery." (I created that poem just now...) Kagome finished and felt a little calmer than before. Though, that poem was a tad depressing, it still made her feel more secure. After all misery loves company and that poem was Kagome company. _

_No more crying on such nights. Kagome didn't like to sit and cry before falling asleep. It caused her to feel uncomfortable, because the tears dried on her face._

_Kagome went to try and finally fall asleep, but she felt a pain in her stomach again. She flinched, because it was so sudden and then she groaned, trying to stop it from continuing. She wanted to beg her child to stop, but it was not listening... apparently. _

_Kagome could sleep with this feeling, so she wanted something to make her head stop aching at least. She moved to covers aside and start swaggering out of the room. She walked straight towards the bathroom and when she entered she turned on the light and opened up the medicine cabinet. The aspirin sat, more obvious than the other medicines._

_She moved her hand towards it and pulled it out popping the cap. After pouring two unto her hand she grabbed a little cup and filled it with sink water. Tossing the pills in her mouth she gulped them back with the water._

_Sighing she closed the aspirin and put it back in the cabinet. She figured that would hold her over for now. She really didn't like the thought of taking medicine, while she was pregnant, but she figured since the child was - after all - a demon, that it would not be harmed, but such minor tablets. _

_Kagome made her way back towards her room and this strange feeling automatically began to course through her. It was something familiar, but at the same time not... _

_She was about to walk past the stairs, but stopped and looked down them. Her eyes widened as fear engulfed her. She knew exactly what this was. Someone was in there home. Some human... Her heart felt like it stopped for a second. Someone was breaking in. _

_Kagome went to run, but remembered where she was. She could not just leave her family behind. She would have to face this problem all on her own. She went in her room and came out with a bat in her hand. _

_Cautiously she began to make her way down the stairs, looking from left to right. Her head turned in a heart beat when she noticed a shadow move from the side of her eye. She was shivering out of fear. She would never be able to handle herself against someone in her condition. An overwhelming desire to have Inuyasha there over came her. Yes, he would have protected her and her family._

_When Kagome held movement behind her she turned quickly with the bat and screamed loudly as she swung it with her eyes closed. _

"_Ahh!" She screamed out._

_BAM_

"_OWE!" She heard someone yell. That voice. It was familiar._

_After another second a light switch turned on from the stairs. Kagome looked over to see her tired mother standing there. _

"_What's all the noise about?" The woman asked, rubbing her eyes. _

"_Mom..." Kagome turned to look and see who the invader was. Her eyes went larger as she saw a human Inuyasha leaning down and rubbing his head. "Inuyasha..."_

"_Why the _hell_ did you do that?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome gulped, not knowing what to do. She heard something from the stairs and watched her mother turn and go back upstairs. _

"_Inuyasha, why are you here?" Kagome asked._

"_I came to see you! You haven't come back in two cycles..." He seemed saddened by this, as if he thought it was his fault. In a way it sort of was, but Kagome didn't see it that way. She just didn't want him to know about her pregnancy, but now she had no other choice._

"_Inuyasha, I think we need to talk."_

"_Sure." Inuyasha replied, finishing rubbing the bump on his head. He followed Kagome over to the couch and sat down a few feet beside her._

"_I... don't think we can be near each other anymore." She said nonchalantly. Inuyasha looked at her in incredulity. That had been a little 'unexpected', if that was the right word for it._

"_W... what do you mean?"_

"_There's something really important I need to tell you. Please don't be mad, because I'm not holding you responsible or anything. You don't ever have to see me or it at all."_

"_It...?" Inuyasha was a little to naive to understand right away what exactly she was saying, but it was starting to clear up for him in that mind of his. "What do you mean 'you or _it_'?"_

"_I mean I'm going to have a baby..."_

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**_For those who read on FictionPress I am now writing stories on the site under the user name JLV so check it out!_**

**_I'm going to leave you hanging here, because I know how much you all just love cliff _****_hangers! I can be cruel, but I can be pleasant as well._**


	6. Getting Life Going Again

**Beloved Misery**

**I apologize for not updating this or any of my fan fictions. You see my computer hasn't been working. All of my files have been deleted and that includes the chapters that would have come after this and the last chapter to The Non-Breakable Love. That means _everything_ has to be rewritten.**

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_**Warning: Sexual Content; Extreme Violence; Offensive Language**_

_**Rating: M for Mature**_

_**Good To Know: Lemon means sex.**_

_**Lime means just basic kissing and hugging**_

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**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the series.**

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****Recap: **"_It...?" Inuyasha was a little to naive to understand right away what exactly she was saying, but it was starting to clear up for him in that mind of his. "What do you mean 'you or _it_'?"_

"_I mean I'm going to have a baby..."_ **End Recap**

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_**Chapter 6: Getting Life Going Again**_

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_Kagome waited in her room. She did not want to bother Inuyasha when he was so deep in thought downstairs. As soon as she had given her news to him she had ran for the stairs. He had been to shocked to stop her._

_**Meanwhile**_

_Inuyasha looked upon his clawed hands. He had never hated himself so much. What had he done? What kind of horrible monster was he to put such a burden on Kagome's shoulders. First he had forcefully taken her innocence and now this. Nothing could be worse. She must hate him. He wanted to cry, but that was against him completely._

_The hanyou looked upon the stairs. Suddenly he wished he was just a human. If he was, none of this would have ever happened. Kagome would still be happily pure. He would have been long dead, never to be a bother in Kagome's life._

_But what is done is done and there's no changing that. Now that there was a child on the way, Inuyasha planned to take full responsibility for his actions, whether or not he had control over them._

_Pulling himself up, Inuyasha dragged his human form up the stairs. This was the form that was completely harmless to Kagome. The form that loved her completely and yearned only to be by her side._

_Halting at the miko's door, Inuyasha considered knocked, but didn't. He merely turned the knob slowly and peeked in. Kagome sat on the bad, staring at her hands, which were folded neatly in her lap._

_"Kagome?" When Inuyasha called her name she looked up at him with pain-stricken eyes. It was then that Inuyasha realized a heart-breaking fact. Kagome would never be the same again. She would never hold the innocence of a child in her smiles. She would never treat Inuyasha as a loving friend and nothing more ever again. He had ruined everything. Gulping back overwhelming pain, Inuyasha bravely walked forward. "Kagome." He repeated, sitting next to her. She looked at him and into his midnight eyes. "I am going to take full responsibility." He informed. She seemed slightly surprised, but not much._

_"You don't... it wasn't really you. I mean... Why should you? It's not your fault." Kagome looked away from him. Her eyes burned. She hated this. She hated this more than anything. She loved nothing more than Inuyasha. He did not disserve to be treated like a stranger. He was her best friend. Nothing would ever change that. "Inuyasha..." Kagome cried out and wrapped her arms around him, crying into his chest._

_Inuyasha was bewildered, but let it go and wrapped his arms around Kagome._

_"The baby is mine too." He whispered into Kagome's ear. She didn't stop her crying. _

_"Please..." Kagome pulled back and stared into Inuyasha's eyes. "Stop acting as if we don't know each other. You did nothing wrong. I love you... I love you so much. It hurts when you act as if we can never be the same again. Why can't things just go back to the way they were?" Inuyasha's eyes offered sympathy. "I want to be with you. I regret nothing!" She yelled. He frowned deeper, knowing that all of this hurt was his fault in some way._

_"Kagome... you know..." His voice was calm and quiet. "You know... I love you too. I wish that things could be the way they were months ago, but you and I both know..."_

_"Stop!" Kagome pulled away from him, stopping her tears. As much as she wanted to cry she did not want him to see her farther weakness. "Don't say such things." Kagome placed a hand on her plump belly. "We can pretend like it wasn't... like the child wasn't conceived the way it was. When it's born we can be parents can't we? Parents that love each other. It's not as if we can ever tell this child the truth." Kagome was so desperate for Inuyasha to agree. So unbelievably desperate. She sat back down beside him. Inuyasha could see the desperation in her eyes. So much it hurt. He didn't know what he was supposed to do._

_Kagome took a deep breath. She hated feeling so depressed inside. She missed feeling nothing but love, joy, and annoyance around Inuyasha._

_"Inuyasha..." Kagome tried to speak, but Inuyasha leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips. Everything disappeared. She was no longer in pain. She was in heaven. It was unbelievable. Never before had she felt this way. It was as if he had placed all his love and hope in those lips and given some to Kagome. Her eyes drifted shut and she leaned into him. _

_Inuyasha was glad to see that this had calmed her down. He just wanted her to forget the pain. Was that so much to ask for? He wanted her to stop crying. He wanted her to feel love and hope and joy like she used to. If he could turn back time he would, but he didn't have to power to do that. So this was his only choice._

_Separating from Inuyasha, Kagome stared into his eyes. Honey reflected nutmeg as the two waited in silence. Kagome couldn't control the yawn that came from her mouth next. She wiped drying tears from her cheeks._

_"Get some sleep." Inuyasha pushed Kagome down on the bed. She nodded and pulled the covers up to her chest._

_"What about you?" She inquired. He looked down at the floor._

_"I'll be fine." He told her. He needed some more time to think. He would find a way to get Kagome's life going again._

_**Two Months Later**_

_Kagome giggled as she was tickled by her hanyou companion. The flowers bloomed around her. It was early spring and there was peace and new life everywhere. She felt more content than she had in what seemed like centuries._

_"Stop..." She laughed out, but could not say any farther. Claws scrapped against her sides. The green grass below her welcomed her and comforted her as did the nature around her. She was still pure. Maybe not physically, but her soul had not grown tainted. Her pregnancy gave her the glow of an upcoming mother. Inuyasha had become more of a father figure over the past months. Him and Kagome seemed like the perfect couple. The only ones who knew the truth were Kagome and him. _

_Now that Kagome was five months into her pregnancy her belly seemed to be much bigger. She often got little kicks here and there. Not once had she regretted keeping this baby. She would love it and cherish it, along with her mate. _

_Inuyasha had proved his loyalty time and time again with her and over time he had showed her he really just wanted to make her the happiest woman alive._

_"Enough..." Kagome finished giggling pushing Inuyasha back. He had one of those rare smiles on his face. Kagome stared up at him, beaming. From the sides of hers eyes she could see buds and full bloomed wild flowers._

_Sango, Miroku, Kaede, and Shippo had all been informed of Kagome's pregnancy a month and a half earlier. Shock was not the right words for the way they all felt. That would be an understatement. Shippo was excited. Miroku had been jealous, but had given one of his perverted grins. Kaede didn't know how to react. Sango had been weary. She had talked to Kagome about the wounds that she had had, but Kagome just told her they were attacked by a demon. When Sango asked why she had not said anything about it earlier, Kagome just said she didn't want them to worry. Sango let Kagome off with that._

_Inuyasha leaned down and kissed Kagome forehead. After that he backed off her and sat down. She sat up on her knees. She was glad that things had become so much easier between the two. It really was almost as if nothing bad had ever happened._

_Kagome looked at the well a few feet away. She had just come back from a three day visit to her time. Inuyasha had greeted her with small kisses and tickling._

_"I should go see the others. I'm starved. I missed breakfast." She informed, getting up. She brushed dirt and grass from her clothes. Inuyasha got up as well, but no dirt clung to anything, but his knees. He didn't bother wiping it away. "I brought ramen." Kagome gestured to her yellow backpack on the ground. Inuyasha picked it up and the two headed for the village._

_Life seemed to be getting better by the day. Inuyasha and Kagome were really a couple now. They had not gotten intimate, because of the pregnancy, but kisses here and there never hurt. They never acted to close around the others. It just didn't feel right. Kagome slept on a mat and Inuyasha slept against the wall right beside her. The ate beside each other, but never kissed in front of there friends._

_Everyday was something new. Most days Inuyasha had to leave Kaede's and head of to an opening of land between the well and the village where he was in the process of building a home for him, Kagome, and the child that was on the way. He had originally tried to surprise her, but she had secretly followed him one day and he was forced to spill the beans. She seemed so happy and grateful._

_As the couple walked towards the village, their hands came together. Smiles appeared on both faces and things seemed to be healing. Slowly, but surely things would get better._

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**This is NOT the last chapter. There is still more ahead. This will probably only be about ten chapters. Give your opinion on this chapter. Oh and I _am_ aware that Kagome was a bit off charater as was Inuyasha, but I wrote it how it is.**


	7. Unreal

**Beloved Misery**

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**Sorry for the wait. I guess I was wrong in saying. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER.**

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_**Warning: Sexual Content; Extreme Violence; Offensive Language**_

_**Rating: M for Mature**_

_**Couple: Inuyasha and Kagome (Based)**_

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the series.**

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**Recap: **_As the couple walked towards the village, their hands came together. Smiles appealed on both of their faces and things seemed to be healing. Slowly, but surely things would get better._ **End Recap**

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**Chapter 7: Unreal**

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_Something felt strange. Something didn't feel right. The color of the bluest of skies changed suddenly, swiftly. It turned into a dreadful and lonesome gray. The breeze that had been so gentle a moment ago, became a fierce hurricane's wind._

_Kagome braced herself under the pressure, grabbing a hold of her belly. This wasn't right. Something wasn't right. This was not how things were supposed to be. She looked at the scars on her body. Grabbing her head, she fell to her knees. Hadn't Inuyasha caused them? Why did she suddenly see another demon causing them?_

_"Inuyasha!" Kagome called out, more desperate than she'd ever been before. "Inuyasha!" She cried; tears stung her eyes. Where was her Inuyasha? He wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere around her._

_She looked from left to right, but the more she moved the more her head throbbed, the more her heart pounded and her chest burned. What was going on? Something was terribly wrong._

_Her mind flashed and suddenly she saw the oncoming claw of a demon. Her eyes widened, but she could not dodge it. She closed her lids over her orbs. The pain she expected never came. She opened her chocolate eyes again. There was _no_ demon? It had been her imagination?_

_Kagome let out a fierce scream as she clung to her head, pressing down on her temples. This all seemed unlikely. This had never happened? Had it?_

"Inuyasha!" Kagome's head flew up. She inhaled deeply. What was going on? (Don't stop reading now! Trust me.)

Kagome looked down at her arm. She was wired up! What was this? Beads of sweat rolled down Kagome's forehead. Her heart pounded in her head.

"Oh no..." She felt tears burning her optics. "No! No! No!" She began to scream. She ripped the wires from her. She was so unbelievable dizzy, fatigued, and starved. Where was she? She couldn't stop asking herself questions.

Beside the bed was a monitor. A lime green line jig jagged on a forest green screen. With each jig jag there was a beep. This was all familiar. _'Where?... where?'_ She felt as if she knew nothing for that short time. In a mind boggling flash everything seemed to come at her.

"A hospital!" Why was she in a modern day hospital? Hadn't she been in a field? Hadn't she been four months pregnant? "What's going on?" She grasped her head. Tears poured from her eyes like never before. She was so confused, so impatient to know what was going on. "What is this all?" She went to stand, but immediately fell to the floor.

Her legs were completely numb! She glanced down. Her belly - it was huge! She placed a hand over it and began to rub. She felt a kick. It was strong and hard. She winced in pain. She was pregnant?

Kagome looked around the hospital room. She sat on a white, ceramic tiled floor. The walls were all white. It was very non-homey. She didn't understand any of this. _'Why am I here?'_ She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

She recalled being raped, getting pregnant, but all of that was fuzzy. Why?

"Was it a dream?" As soon as the words finished, a sharp pain consumed Kagome. She was taken into a whole other world. She collapsed.

_Kagome saw herself as she wrapped protective arms around her belly. She wouldn't let any harm come to this child, this child in which her and Inuyasha had sired in their own love._

_She saw Inuyasha. His smile. His frown. His confusion. His rage._

_She saw Inuyasha protect her. She saw him safeguard her until he had almost completely lost his life._

_The large demon the couple faced together was after blood and nothing more. It was Naraku's truest of forms._

_A battle that had lasted four days and four nights didn't seem to be coming to an end._

_Kagome knelt down. She wanted to fight. She didn't want Inuyasha to sacrifice himself for her, but every time she tried battling, she only put her child at greater risk. Her child, which had been growing in her belly for four months now._

_Suddenly a large claw came flying towards her. There was no stopping it._

Kagome's eyes widened. She pulled herself up, kneeling. Naraku had knocked her out. That was the only explanation. That was the last thing she could remember. She bit back more tears.

How had her dream been so vivid? How had days and nights passed? She didn't understand that part. How long had she been unconscious for? Her stomach had grown twice the size! She had to be at least eight months pregnant now.

She recalled everything in that dream happening, everything except for the rape. Inuyasha had _never_ raped her. Why did she dream that? All that had happened in that dream took place slightly different over the last four months, before she fought Naraku.

Kagome began to tremble. She was scared, so scared. Everything in that dream had felt so real, but wrong. Inuyasha would have never done something like that. She knew him better. She knew perfectly well that he had a little control over his demon side. He would have killed himself with that little control before forcing himself upon her.

She tried to stand. Her legs were much to weak. She looked down at her arms where her scars were supposed to be. They were very faint. They had not come from Inuyasha, like in the dream, they had all come from the battle with Naraku.

Kagome shuddered. How much of her life had she missed? Before she knew what was happening, more tears were springing from her eyes. She wrapped her arms around her body. She felt so unbelievably alone. It was all so unreal.

"Help! Someone!" Her voice seemed almost raw now. It had been so long since she had used it. Suddenly the door flew open, a clawed hand on the knob. Kagome looked up. The figure seemed blurry in her tears.

"Kagome!" The voice, however, was not. It was-

"-Inuyasha!" Kagome couldn't move. She wanted answers. She also wanted him. She wanted him to hold her. She didn't want him to ever let her go. He came rushing over to her. A hat on his head, his red haori on his body. He knelt down on the ground and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Kagome..." His voice seemed so hurt. He almost sounded as though he was going to cry. "I thought... I thought I lost you!" He tightened his grip. "I'm glad. You're alive."

"Inuyasha..." Kagome returned his embrace. Things seemed to slowly clear up now. "How much..." She hesitated, afraid of what his reply would be. "How much time has passed?" He pulled back to look into her eyes. She wiped tears away to see him clearly.

She gasped. He seemed so handsome, but at the same time, so tired, he was slightly pale. She reached up a hand and touched his cheek. He leaned into her touch, missing it dearly.

"You've been in a coma for... four months..." Kagome pulled back, almost as if he had physically shocked her.

"F... four months!" More tears. She didn't want to miss time. She didn't want to let her life waste away. She reached down, touching her large belly. How had the baby survived? A part of her guessed it was because of the demon blood.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you." He was so guilty. "Naraku's dead. The jewel is complete. It's in your room." He waited for her to take in the information. "After you passed out, we were able to defeat Naraku. I didn't know what to do, so I took you to the modern time and your mom brought you here. I've been here every day. I promise!" Suddenly Kagome felt as if she didn't have a right to be sad. She looked up. Being sorrowful was only hurting Inuyasha. Why should he have to be in pain because she had missed four months of her life? He had missed fifty years!

"Don't apologize." She leaned forward, embracing him again. "Please. I'm just glad you're alright. I'm glad everything worked out. It's not your fault." She calmed down a great deal as she was held by Inuyasha.

"I wanted to protect you and the pup more than anything, but-"

"You did! We would have died if you had not protected us all along. I love you." She didn't let go. Finally she released a smile. She regretted the time she had missed, but she knew there was no going back. This was how things had to be. "What about Miroku and Sango? What about everyone in the past? Are they alright?"

"They all survived. Sango was even able to save Kohaku."

"That's great! I'm so happy for her."

"They've all been worried about you. I went back yesterday to tell them what was going on. It was the only time I left your side, other than to go to the bathroom and shower. I promise!" He sounded almost like a desperate child. He really wanted her to know he cared.

"I know." Kagome lifted her head up. She gathered all the strength she could to lean up and kiss his lips lightly.

"Kagome!" The door flung open again. Her mother, her grandfather, and her younger brother stood there.

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**Two Days Later**

Kagome smiled, stepping with the crutches to help support her. She still hadn't fully regained her strength, but she knew it wouldn't be much longer now. Inuyasha sat on the chair, watching her as she paced the room for no reason except to move.

He didn't seem at all impatient as he just sat there. He actually had an unusual smile on his face. It was a smile Kagome had never seen play across his lips before. It was nice.

"What did the others say?" Kagome questioned. Inuyasha had taken an hour out of the day to visit the others and tell them the fantastic news.

"They want to see you."

"I want to see them." Kagome giggled, stopping with her crutches and staring out at Inuyasha. "I'll be able to in a weak." She was excited with that news.

"We'll see." The hanyou crossed his arms, eying his mate. Kagome stopping looking at him and began to circle the room, trying to use her crutches even less this time.

"You know..." Kagome watched where she stepped. It was difficult without using any support. She would fall if she wasn't to careful. She picked herself up with the cruches and move forward. "We should get married." She said it in an unbelievable casual way.

Inuyasha nodded in an equally casual way.

"When you're ready to walk on your own, we'll talk about it." Inuyasha had learned about human marriage from Miroku and Sango. They were planning on getting married, but not until Kagome was able to come and watch them.

"I can't wait. I want to see Miroku and Sango get married too. I want to have a house too. I wonder if it's a boy or a girl. I want my family to be at the wedding too." She seemed so blissful, even after all of the pain she had been going through when she first awoke.

Inuyasha nodded to everything she said. He would get her whatever she wanted, as long as he was capable.

Kagome stopped suddenly. Her eyes widening.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha stood as she fell to her knees. She clutched her stomach. "What's wrong?" He rushed over to her, in concern.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome gripped her belly. "I'm... my water broke."

"What? What water? Where?" Inuyasha looked around quickly.

"No! My water! Inuyasha I'm in labor. I'm having the baby!" Inuyasha's eyes went large.

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"A beautiful baby boy." The doctor beamed, wrapping the baby in a blue bundle to keep him warm. He ambled around the bed, to the mother.

Kagome breathed heavily. She had never been in so much physical pain. She had thought it would never end, but it finally had, after a long, terrible twelve hours. It had all been worth it in the end.

Kagome reached weak arms out and grabbed the bundle as gently as she could. She pulled in the child, with a smile. Inuyasha's ears had perked up at the news. Apparently he had wanted a son. He walked over to Kagome's side. She seemed so tired. He felt bad. He had never known it would hurt her so much.

He stared down at the baby. The infant's optics opened slowly, blinking, obviously it didn't approve of the bright light in the room. Inuyasha saw a light color, but he knew that this boy had amber eyes, just like him. On the top of the child's head was a small bush of brown hair.

Inuyasha looked closer. Folded down on the black hair was something silver. Two ears; two dog ears! Inuyasha looked at the doctor. His heart raced. He was relieved that the doctor hadn't being paying attention to that. If the baby's ears hadn't been sticking to the head, because of the goo that came out with it, than the doctor would have surely noticed.

"I'll leave you three alone now." The doctor began to leave the room. His nurse following close behind. Inuyasha had been to only other person in the room was Kagome. Her mother, grandfather, and Sota all waited impatiently in the waiting room.

"He's beautiful." Kagome felt her stomach turn with excitement. "What should we call him?" She looked at Inuyasha, waiting for a reply. She was glad to see him also smiling, but she also noticed confusion in his own amber eyes.

"He's so... tiny..." Inuyasha reached out a hand. A tiny, clawed hand came from the bundle of blue and grabbed a hold of Inuyasha's pointer finger. Inuyasha flinched. He felt something amazing within him. He was a father. He really was.

Kagome giggled. She reached a hand down, just noticing the ears.

"Just like his father." She rubbed the ear and it bounced up. She repeated the motion with the other ear.

"You choose the name." Inuyasha gazed at Kagome now. She bit down on her lip in concentration. There were a number of names that she had already thought up, but none of them seemed to fit this child correctly.

"I think I like..." She narrowed her eyes in concentration. It was on the tip of her tongue. "How about... Shinzou?" That was it! A name that meant 'god's gift', because to her that was exactly what this child was. He was god's gift to her and Inuyasha.

"I like it." Inuyasha pulled his pointer finger from the child's grip.

Kagome smiled even brighter. She looked from Inuyasha to the baby boy.

"Shinzou it is." She laughed. She was so excited.

When Kagome's mind roamed back to her long dream suddenly, her heart jumped. Should she tell Inuyasha about that dream? Kagome looked back at the child. She decided against it. She would keep it to herself. She would be the only one to ever know of the dream that was somehow beloved misery.

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**THE END!**

**If you didn't understand: It was all a dream (Except for when she woke up). Everything that had happened up until this chapter was all a dream that she had when she was in a coma. Everything that happened in the dream, happened to her, only slightly differently. She was NEVER raped. She got pregnant from Inuyasha by making love to him using her own free will. If you have any more question just go to my profile page. You'll find my email there.**

**_Also:_ I never broke my promise when I said Kagome when never _actually_ be raped in my fan fictions.**

**I hope you don't mind that she wasn't actually raped. I'm sorry if you wanted her to be. I just think this ending is so much happier.**


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